10.16.2012

Stress

This has to be the most stress I have ever felt. Since having a miscarriage, a missed miscarriage at that, it seems I am consumed with worry. I think the worry has so badly taken over my brain that it is now tricking my body into believing that I am not pregnant because I'm not feel many symptoms any more. Maybe I am, though. Sometimes my breasts will feel like they did before I got pregnant. Totally normal, no pain at all. Right now they are very tender to the touch. I was sick as a dog for like 4 or 5 days. I never puked but I felt like I was going to ALL DAY AND NIGHT for those 4 or 5 days and now I don't feel like that at all except for every once and a while I will feel a LITTLE nauseous.

I just have to tell myself it'll be ok. That everything is ok. I mean, the first day I didn't feel sick was the day I went to the dr and got my first ultrasound and heard the babies heartbeat so why should I worry so much?

I wish I could just stop. I don't even understand how some women can go through a pregnancy and not worry about their baby every step of the way, especially early on. I am a mess right now.

I know I need to chill out but sometimes these feelings are really intense and they have been that way for the past 2 days. I should probably take that as a good sign of my hormones being really high, but my brain isn't working that way right now.

I just wish it was time for that next appointment but I have right at 3 weeks before then so I really need to get it together. And that is the end of today's rant, lol.

1 comment:

Mrs. K said...

I worried a lot, too. I used to keep pregnancy tests on hand and would take them anytime I didn't feel pregnant. LOL It took me awhile to stop buying them. Hang in there :)