For now, at least. I am trying so hard to be chill and just let this pregnancy do it's thing, but I just turn into a hormonal worry wart sometimes. Try as I might, when the worrying starts, it would take moving a mountain to get it to stop. I just freak out because I have all these symptoms and some days I feel them really bad but some days I don't really feel them at all and that's when I freak out.
The miscarriage I had was a missed miscarriage. Yes, there is such a thing as MISSING your miscarriage. Basically, the baby died but I showed ZERO symptoms and still had all the wacky hormones so I still showed the pregnancy symptoms I had been showing. Our baby died at 7 weeks and 1 day but I didn't show ANY symptoms of miscarriage until I was 11 weeks and 4 days. Then even after waiting 5 more days, I just spotted. The baby wouldn't come on it's own. I literally felt little contractions. It was the worst thing ever.
That is why I get so freaked out during this pregnancy. I worry that something will happen and I wont know and I will go on the next few weeks being happy that I'm pregnant for no reason. I'm scared to become a casket again. I have deep fears because of that first pregnancy but above all, I just want a healthy baby at the end of May.
Just, help me Lord. Please help me through this. Please bless us with the baby. And please help me find some peace.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment