Blog Archive


Not sure how much

I will be blogging this week because... WE LEAVE FOR INDIANA TONIGHT!!! :) We should get there sometime REALLY early tomorrow morning. Around 6 am. It's gonna be a pain in the butt to drive there for so long at night but I am going to be driving for the first 4 or 5 hours since I'm not much good at the long distance night driving. SO, what I am trying to say is, I just may be a married woman by the time you guys read another one of my blogs :) I hope everyone has a great week! I know I will!


Semper Spouse, I am blowing my top

Just read this: Semper Spouse: Ah, OPSEC

Here WAS my comment (it appears to be gone now):
You disgust me. How dare you put ANYONE in the service in danger because of your stupidity and selfishness! And you're OWN husband? Unfuckingbelievable. No words seem to pop up in my mind to clearly state EXACTLY how I feel about you right now. Just know, you have pissed off a LOT of people and anyone that agrees with you ought to take your spouses place out in the field. THEN see how you feel about OPSEC.

This woman can't possible be serious?! Who would seriously do this?! I am utterly disgusted.


Paging Dr. Shrek

Before I get into all the serious stuff, let me talk a moment about Dr. Shrek. He didn't help care for Ryan in any way but, yes, that is his real name, and he was a bulky man wearing GREEN scrubs. It was great. Ryan and I got a huge kick out of it.

It started Friday morning. I didn't know anything. Ryan just went about his day and night hoping it would stop. It never did. We went to bed around 1:30 that night and we were talking while laying in bed as usual. I layed my head on his right shoulder and he asked me if I felt his heart. Of course I didn't so I said no but then thought it was a strange question and asked him why he had asked me that. THEN he told me his heart had been pounding all day. When I say all day I mean since he woke up at 7:30 that morning. Naturally, having a heart condition myself, I felt compelled to listen to his heart so I layed my head on his chest and here is basically what I heard "boomboomboom *skip beat* boom boom boomboomboom" It was fast, then slow, and HARD and just beating completely WRONG. I just wanted to cry right then. I layed my head back on his shoulder and didn't say anything. He asked me if I wanted him to go to the hospital and I said, "There is no way I will sleep knowing your heart is doing that" and niether of us said anything for a minute. Then I layed my head on his heart again and he asked me again and I said yes. So, at 1:45 am, we left to drive 20 miles away to the Naval Hospital in Portsmouth, VA. We got there around 2 am.

We spent pretty much no time in the waiting room and as soon as we got to Ryans space they immediately hooked him up to get an ekg machine. Next they hooked him up to a heart moniter. The heart montiter told them what I already knew. His heart was beating between 90 bpm and got up to around 150 bpm. It was skipping beats, beating irregularly, the works. It was scary to see but even more scary to feel. Even MORE scary to know it was happening to my future husband. We were there for almost 3 hours before they figured out what was going on. Here it is: Ryan has Atrial Fibrillation. It COULD happen again. I hate knowing that. So, they treated him with a Cortizone drip and another drug in pill form and after almost 2 hours it finally worked. His heart rate went down to around 78 and was finally beating regularly. We left around 7:30 am. Here is information on the condition:

What is atrial fibrillation?

Atrial fibrillation (say "A-tree-uhl fih-bruh-LAY-shun") is an irregular heart rhythm (arrhythmia) that starts in the upper parts (atria) of the heart.
Normally, the heart beats in a strong, steady rhythm. In atrial fibrillation, a problem with the heart’s electrical system causes the atria to quiver, or fibrillate. The quivering upsets the normal rhythm between the atria and the lower parts (ventricles) of the heart. The lower parts may beat fast and without a regular rhythm.
Atrial fibrillation is dangerous because it greatly increases the risk of stroke. If the heart doesn't beat strongly, blood can collect, or pool, in the atria. Pooled blood is more likely to form clots. If the heart pumps a clot into the bloodstream, the clot can travel to the brain and block blood flow, causing a stroke. Atrial fibrillation can also lead to heart failure.

What causes atrial fibrillation?

Conditions that damage or strain the heart commonly cause atrial fibrillation. These include:

High blood pressure.
Coronary artery disease (CAD).
Heart attack.
Heart valve disease, especially diseases of the mitral valve.

Atrial fibrillation may also be caused by:
Other medical problems, such as lung disease, pneumonia, or a high thyroid level (hyperthyroidism).
Heart surgery.
Heavy alcohol use. Having more than 3 drinks a day over many years can cause long-lasting atrial fibrillation. Drinking a large amount of alcohol at one time (binge drinking) may also cause a spell (episode) of atrial fibrillation.
Use of stimulants. These include caffeine, nicotine, medicines such as decongestants, and illegal drugs such as cocaine.
Use of some prescription medicines, such as albuterol or theophylline.
Sometimes doctors can't find the cause. Doctors call this lone atrial fibrillation.

What are the symptoms?

Symptoms may include:

Feeling dizzy or lightheaded.
Feeling out of breath.
Feeling weak and tired.
A feeling that the heart is fluttering, racing, or pounding (palpitations).
A feeling that the heart is beating unevenly.
Chest pain (angina).

Atrial fibrillation is common, especially in older adults, and it may not cause obvious symptoms. If you have any of the symptoms listed, see your doctor. Finding and treating atrial fibrillation right away can help you avoid serious problems.

How is atrial fibrillation diagnosed?

The doctor will ask questions about your past health, do a physical exam, and order tests. The best way to find out if you have atrial fibrillation is to have an electrocardiogram (EKG or ECG). An EKG is a test that checks for problems with the heart’s electrical activity.
You might also have lab tests, a chest X-ray, and an echocardiogram. An echocardiogram can show how well your heart is pumping and whether your heart valves are damaged.

How is it treated?

A number of treatments may be used for atrial fibrillation. Which treatments are best for you depend on the cause, your symptoms, and your risk of stroke.
Doctors sometimes use a procedure called cardioversion to try to get the heartbeat back to a normal rhythm. This can be done using either medicine or a low-voltage electrical shock (electrical cardioversion). Atrial fibrillation often comes back after cardioversion.
If you have mild symptoms, or if atrial fibrillation returns after cardioversion, your doctor may prescribe medicines to control your heart rate and help prevent stroke. These may include:
Rhythm-control medicines (antiarrhythmics) to help return the heart to its normal rhythm and keep it there.
Rate-control medicines to keep the heart from beating too fast during atrial fibrillation.
Many people with atrial fibrillation need to take blood-thinning (anticoagulant) medicine to help prevent strokes. People at low risk for stroke may take daily aspirin instead. If you are age 55 or older and have atrial fibrillation, you can find your risk of stroke using this Interactive Tool: What Is Your Risk for a Stroke if You Have Atrial Fibrillation?
Cardioversion and medicines don't work for some people who continue to have bothersome symptoms. In these cases, doctors sometimes recommend a procedure called ablation. Ablation destroys small areas of the heart. This creates scar tissue, which blocks or destroys areas that cause or maintain the irregular heart rhythm. Afterward, you may need a pacemaker to keep your heart beating regularly.

I don't really feel like saying much else, just know he is okay right now. He doesn't have clearence to deploy right now but I'm sure he will get it once he sees the cardiologist. Again, thanks for the prayers and concern. We appreciate it.


About Ryan

Thank you everyone for your concerns. I'm sorry I haven't posted anything as I promised but we have been worn out from being in the er from 2 - 7:30 am. Just know he is okay right now and I will be sure to let everyone in on it tomorrow :)
I am feeling pretty helpless right now. Please say a prayer for Ryan. i will update when we are home from the er. After we wake up that is :(


I'm sorry ...Hannah...

I have been a terrible friend lately. The truth is, it's because I have been distancing myself from you. To make you moving away easier on me. I came to the realization that I have been so unfair and selfish while we were talking to facebook. I am going to miss you so much. You were my very first friend here. I will never forget everything you have done for me whether mentally or physically. You are such a great friend.

How random the first night we met will forever be in my memory. One of us (I cant remember who anymore) added the other on facebook. We instantly started chatting and BAM there we were planning dinner at Macaroni Grill. Then BAM we were drawing on the "tablecloth" writing upside down and drinking our wine testers. I felt a pretty instant connection with you and just knew you were someone I wanted in my life. Later that night things were pretty bad for me. We both know what happened and I want to keep that between us and only the people that already know. Anyway, you invited me to come drink at your place and even though we had just met a couple hours earlier, I felt like it was okay to go to your house, that I could trust you. So, I went, and got pretty darn drunk and passed out. I don't remember if it was that same night or the next morning but I was texting you from downstairs to apologize if I ended up puking and you heard me. LOL. You just laughed and told me not to worry about it. That you just wanted me to feel better. That was the beginning of what I consider a beautiful friendship. You aren't even gone yet and I miss you already.


Almost a year into my blog

and I finally got my first "pass along" award! I was just thinking last night about how I had never gotten one before and found myself wishing that I would. Wouldn't you know to my surprise I check my blog today and I have this from Kelsey!

I am really happy I got this :) It really means a lot to me & now it's time for me to share 7 things about myself then pass it along to 9 lovely ladies!

1. I almost fell off the Great Smoky Mountains when I was 11. My sister saved my life and I am forever grateful to her for it.
2. I watched Roswell for around 10 or more hours yesterday and had a very hard time turning it off so I could do my hair and finish packing my clothes.
3. I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I never thought I would ever be truly happy but here I am, TRULY happy and getting married to the love of my life in EXACTLY one week.
4. Ever since I started writing in my blog more, I have left my real life diary in the dust & I feel bad for it. Yeah, I feel bad. Like I have stopped talking to the one person I told everything. Silly huh?
5. I spend a good majority of my day and night on facebook. When I say a good majority, I mean 8 + hours a day. I am what they call a facebook addict.
6. When I am feeling bad about the things that are going on in my life all I need to feel better is for someone to complain to me about theirs. To ask me for advice. When I give someone advice (which I'm told I am pretty good at) it takes my mind off the things that I am sad or worried about.
7. If I don't sleep for 8 or more hours a night, I feel like crap when I wake up and I am basically a zombie half asleep or falling asleep on and off all day.

Here are the 9 lovely bloggers I am giving this award to:
2. 27 Dresses in Cleveland (She was my idol at one point in time. I related to every word she said!)

I hope all of you ladies enjoy getting this award as much as I do! :)



It sucks! And makes me depressed. And makes me think about things I have been trying to put in the back of my mind...

Pretty much all we have done tonight is pack our stuff. Clean clothes and pack. Yuck. Ryan was in the livingroom folding and packing his clothes while I was in the bedroom getting a ton of my stuff together. The bedroom closet is so empty. I have been saying "I can't wait to move" for so long and now that we are packing I realize I will miss this place a lot. We have a lot of memories here. We told eachother "I love you" here. We came back here after we got engaged to celebrate. We had a couple accidents and almost made a baby here (lol). We have had so many great times here and it's just kind of bittersweet to me for us to be moving even though we aren't moving far away from here.

It got me to thinking about the fact that deployment is so close now. It has been but now we are under the 1 month mark and things are getting pretty serious. Ryan even packed one bag to take to the ship with him for deployment. I know I talk so stinking much about deployment but it has kind of taken over. Everything we are doing right now is formed around deployment. From getting married to moving, it all had to be within a certain time for us to do it before the big D. Not to mention everything we are going to have to take care of for my to get on the insurance, get my military id and whatever else. Just, yuck.

I was feeling kind of bummed and Ryan walked into the bedroom. He asked me if I was okay. He always knows when I'm not okay but of course I said "I'm fine" and smiled. He said, "You don't look okay" and we just kind of left it alone. Maybe he realizes I just dont want him to see me being weak. He will see plenty of that on D day. I don't even want him to see it then but that really can't be helped. I'm pretty sure I wont have much control over my emotions that day.

Let me also mention something, I have been worried sick now that the wedding is so close that I wont fit my dress. Even though I haven't gained or lost any weight since I first bought it. Ryan has seen my dress. He was with me when I got it. I still remember the look on his face when he saw me in it :) I mentioned to him today that I was scared it wouldn't fit and he said for me to try it on. I told him I needed help zipping it and so he helped me and it fit perfect! I saw that look on his face again today. I can't wait to marry that man.

Oh! Before I go, looky what I got today for winning Christinas contest! I love it and I can't wait to wear it!!!


I won't go, I won't sleep,

I won't breathe until you're resting here with me... I think that is going to be my theme song in a little less then a month. I just felt the urge to share that since the future hubby and I are watching episode upon episode of Roswell.

SPEAKING OF hubbys to be... The wedding is in TEN days! TEN!!! I am a total bundle of nerves and excitement. We have been talking a whole lot about the wedding. We were walking around the grocery store when we realized that the wedding is so close. I called the mayors office to make sure that our appointment was still good and it was (sigh of relief). Tomorrow I am going to call the bed and breakfast to let them know that we are going to be there earlier then they expect us for check in. We originally told them we would be there around 9:30 the night of the wedding because we wanted to have a good amount of time to spend with the family at the gathering before we go off and do our own thing but now we realize that we will have plenty of time between the wedding and beach photoshoot to go check in and take our stuff there before we go to the "reception". I can't wait to wear my dress! I can't wait to wear my shoes! I can't wait to wear everything I have been waiting so long to wear! I can't wait to see Ryan in his dress whites for the first time ever. But most of all, I can't wait to be Mrs. Dawson. The suspense is killing me. For now I just wait, wait, wait like I have been for so long. I have LITERALLY dreamed about this day since I was a little girl. I knew all I needed was a little patience and now my fairy tale is about to come true :)


It may be just another day...

But it was a special day for me :)

I started my day at 5:30 am. Ryan had a dentist appointment where he was getting all 4 of his wisdom teeth pulled at 7 am. I hated waking up that early because rarely do I fall asleep before 2 am. I am an 8 hours of sleep or zombie person so I was basically useless for a good majority of the day. I have been able to help Ryan any time he has needed it though and I'd say that's all that really matters. I feel for the guy. We are both smokers (gross, I know, and I am quitting after I stop stressing out about deployment) and he hasn't had one since 6:30 this morning. It is now 9:20 at night. I don't know how he's doing it because I think there is a good chance I would be ripping heads off by now.

Back to the original subject at hand. It was a special day for me because I got to spend the WHOLE day with Ryan. On what is normally a work day. AND since they are in 3 section duty because of palm leave because of D day, he would have had duty today if he wouldn't have gotten them teeth pulled. We have been laying around being lazy and watching movies all day. It's been great.

I got my wedding jewelry today!!! Look at the beautiful pieces that Betty Gambizzle made me:
I love them and I love her!!!


It's not that I'm not strong...

It's that I am weak when it comes to certain things. I am a strong woman, I can make it through a deployment. I am a weak woman, I can't hold back my tears. When I say I can't hold back my tears I mean, I BREAK DOWN. You would think that someone I love very much just died. So, that is the difference in being strong and weak when it comes to me. I am STRONG because I can get through it yet I am WEAK because I can't get through it without my heart completely shattering into a billion tiny pieces. Does that make me weak in your eyes? How do you act when it's D time?

ANYWAY, Ryan and I went shopping at Old Navy yesterday and got a few things. One of the things I got was a hoodie. I had to have the hoodie because even though it says "Old Navy" on it, there is an anchor on it and it's Navy blue. I came up with some ideas for it and posted the pics and now I have a couple other girls wanting to do the same thing :) SO brilliant. The hoodie was only 10 dollars and they have matching sweatpants that I will be getting for 10 dollars too. Watch as my creative side comes out:


The emotional cycle of deployment

*Note* Highlighted is where I currently am and it's pretty darn accurate. Oh, how I hate you deployment.

The information in this section has been adapted from “The Emotional Cycle of Deployment” by Kathleen Vestal Logan, Proceedings, February 1987 and “Mission Readiness and Stress Management”, United Nations Secretariat, New York, 1995.

Stage 1—Anticipation of Loss (1-6 Weeks Prior to Deployment)

Common Reactions:

1. Fluctuation in energy level and mood
2. Fantasizing
3. Feelings of sadness, anger, excitement, restlessness, anxiety, tension, frustration, resentment, depression

General Suggestions:

1. Allow yourself to feel and express your full range of emotional responses
2. Encourage all family members to share their feelings
3. Reassure your partner of your love and commitment
4. Involve the whole family in preparing for the separation
5. Create opportunities for warm, lasting memories
6. Try to see the deployment as an opportunity for growth
7. Remember that the deployment is not forever
8. Go through the readiness checklist with partner

For Spouse Departing:
1. Share honestly all you can about the deployment
2. Choose favorite family photos to take with you
3. Make a list of important family occasions; take cards with you
4. Record tapes of yourself reading favorite children’s stories
5. Participate in mission readiness activities for yourself and your family
6. Assist with household and auto maintenance

For Spouse Staying:

1. Take photos of your spouse doing routine activities
2. Build a solid support network for yourself
3. Set realistic goals for yourself for the deployment period
4. Have concrete, written plans for an unexpected family crisis

Stage 2—Detachment and Withdrawal (Last Week Prior to Deployment)

Common Reactions:

1. Reduced emotional and sexual intimacy
2. Feelings of despair, hopelessness, impatience, numbness

General Suggestions:

1. Accept your feelings as normal reactions to challenging circumstances, and not signs of rejection
2. Communicate openly and honestly as possible
3. Be patient with yourself, your partner, your children
4. Discuss budget, again and again

For Spouse Departing:

1. Complete your packing and preparation early so the last day and evening can be family time
2. Accept your excitement about the assignment as natural and normal, without expecting your family to share your feeling
3. Make a big deal out of putting children’s pictures in your wallet and placing your picture in their room

For Spouse Staying:

1. Try to take good care of yourself—nutrition, sleep, exercise, hobbies, social support
2. Ignore rumors, try to rely on official sources of information concerning the departure and the assignment
3. Complete lists of “what to do” and “who to call”

Stage 3: Emotional Disorganization (First Weeks After Deployment)

Common Reactions:

1. Sleep and appetite disturbances
2. Feelings of relief, guilt, anger, numbness, depression, confusion, disorganization, indecision, loneliness, vulnerability, irritability, aimlessness
3. Magical thinking (wishful thinking; using charms or rituals)

General Suggestions:

1. Communicate—keep in touch about everyday events and share your feelings to maintain the emotional bond; fill in details left unsaid or undone when your spouse deployed
2. Date and number your letters so that your spouse can read them in sequence
3. Try to end phone calls on a positive note—it may be a long wait before the next call

For Spouse Deployed:

1. Write separate letters to your children periodically
2. Share as much information as you can about your daily life and work

For Spouse at Home:

1. Maintain the healthy self-care practices you established before the departure; try to eat and sleep sensibly
2. Participate in a support group, whether formal or informal; do not become isolated
3. Help your children express their feelings and stay in touch with their absent parent

Stage 4: Recovery and Stabilization (Variable Duration Between Stages 3 and 5)

Common Reactions:

1. Concern that your partner is coping so well that you are no longer needed
2. Feelings of increased confidence, independence, competence, freedom, pride, isolation, anxiety, depression

General Suggestions:

1. Expressions of love are important; reflect on treasured moments together
2. Enjoy new skills, freedom and independence
3. Celebrate signs of positive growth in self, partner, children
4. Offer empathy and support to family, friends, colleagues in need

For Spouse Deployed:

1. Maintain regular contact with family—mail (letters, tapes, gifts), phone calls, faxes, e-mail, etc
2. Participate in formal debriefings following critical incidents
3. Confide in trusted colleagues, clergy

For Spouse at Home:

1. Share your feelings of pride and self-confidence, reassuring your partner that you still long for the separation to end
2. Encourage and assist your children to keep the absent parent a vital part of the family
3. Share ideas for care packages with other spouses in support groups

Stage 5: Anticipation of Homecoming (Last Weeks of Deployment)

Common Reactions:

1. Increased energy and activity
2. Sleep and appetite disturbances
3. Feelings of joy, excitement, anxiety, apprehension, restlessness, impatience

General Suggestions:

1. Share your feelings of apprehension as well as excitement and joy
2. Share your expectations and desires for the homecoming
3. Reassure your partner of your love and commitment
4. Include your children in planning for the homecoming celebration
5. Plan to have some family time with the children before the “honeymoon”

For Spouse Deployed:

1. Pass on only officially confirmed information about your return (date, time, location) to your family
2. Participate in preparation for reunion activities (briefings, discussions), if offered
3. Expect the unexpected; kids grow, hairstyles change.; decisions were made without the usual discussion; avoid making judgments

For Spouse at Home:

1. Ignore rumors and try to wait patiently for official date, time, location information for your partner’s return
2. Participate in any preparation for reunion activities (briefings, celebrations) that might be available

Stage 6: Renegotiation of Relationships (First 6 Weeks After Homecoming)

Common Reactions:

1. Difficulty re-establishing emotional and sexual intimacy
2. Feelings of excitement, disorganization, resentment, frustration
3. Grieving over loss of freedom and independence

General Suggestions:

1. Ease back into a family system gradually; all of you have changed
2. Avoid the impulse to shower each other with expensive gifts and fancy meals—stick to your budget
3. Communicate as openly and honestly as possible—accept your feelings as normal and not a threat to the relationship
4. Be patient with yourself and your partner
5. Renegotiate your roles and responsibilities—the workload can again be shared, but perhaps in a new way; it takes time and effort to re-establish a “joint command” household
6. Celebrate together the personal growth each has achieved during the separation
7. Continue to participate in support group/network
8. Seek professional counseling (clergy, social worker, doctor, psychologist) for continuing signs of critical incident stress, or other concerns

Ya know... This is why I shouldn't be left alone!

I have been having a sob fest between watching this past episode of Army Wives today and listening to this: Sleeping With The Telephone. Yuck, I just don't know how to keep my mind off deployment when I am all alone. Thank goodness Ryan comes back from this underway tomorrow.

All I feel like doing these days is complaining that the big D is so close. I feel like complaining because of underways. Why is it that you feel the need to take him from me for days at a time before you take him away for 6-8 months? That seems a little unfair to me. So, Navy, cut. it. out! I would like to have him as much as I can because as you know, he is going to be gone for a very long time. Kay? Thanks.


Well, well, well...

What a sigh of relief! I hung out with a bunch of ladies today from Wife, to fiance', to girlfriend and it was a great time. As far as I am concerned I wont be hearing anyone say anything about anyone tomorrow lol. We all got along really well and one of the girls was a first time meeting. I am really glad I met her. We connected right away and she's great! I am having a brain fart and can't really think of anything else as of right now but that kind of was my day in a nut shell anyway. Now I am just sitting around the house patiently waiting for tomorrow morning so I can see Ryan again...


This and that

First of all I am super excited that I was able to figure out how to make my blog title and whatnot into the sweet font and color it is now. Big thanks to Allie for sending me the link with all the instructions. She's a real sweety! You should go check out her blog and follow her :)

Met up with Betty again today to check out some custom wedding jewelry and decide what I want. Her stuff is so amazing! I could have marveled at it all day but alas I had brought a couple of Sailors along with me (the finace' and the couch crasher who was buying a bracelet from her) and they became mildly impatient and clearly bored lol. Anyway, she is a really great person and she has really great stuff. You can find her here: Life as a Sailors Girl Check her blog out, check her stuff out and just check HER out! She's fabulous! If you start following her after finding her through me please let her know that I sent you by leaving her a comment!

Ahhhh! I am starting to spaz and get really nervous about the wedding! After all, it IS in 21 days! 21 days? Yes, 21 days! That is SO close. I'm excited, but not excited for what happens shortly after we wed. All in one day, THE DAY we get back from Indiana, we have to go to the main office here, get Ryan off the lease, pack all our stuff into the moving truck, go to the new place, sign the lease there, unpack all our stuff and then take the moving truck back before we can even think about unpacking anything, THEN unpack. I am NOT looking forward to having to do all of that! Not to mention the big D comes shortly after we settle into the new place. FML :'( I'm not ready for that nor will I ever be. I could cry just thinking about it right now but I'd rather just not talk or think about it anymore.

I am still in the contest on Christinas blog and you can still vote for me! The link to her page is a couple posts down and the blog for the contest is there too so please check it out and vote for me!



Met a lovely lady today :)

Betty at Life as a Sailors Girl made me a gorgeous charm bracelet and I got to meet her for the first time today! I adore my bracelet and she is a wonderful person! I am going back to her place tomorrow after we go to the command picnic to look at some wedding jewelry and I cant wait! What Betty and I didn't know until just a little while ago is we only live a few blocks from eachother! It's too bad I am moving 20 minutes away in a month (boooooo). Anyway, check her blog out and if you become a follower (which I HIGHLY recommend) let her know by leaving her a comment and tell her you found her through me!


Im real excited!

And I'd love to share with you guys! I decided to go ahead and buy a charm bracelet from Betty so I could get more entries. I would really love to win at least one of the items she is giving away :) She is a super awesome person and after chatting some more we found out we live minutes away from eachother (woot)!!! Go check her out and if you follow her please let her know that you found her through me (that gives me more entries!). Thanks ladies! Trust me, if you follow her, you wont regret it!

I keep saying "this is my last one for a while" then I run into another!

Blog contest! This one has 3 winners and each winner gets a "support the troops" shirt! I would love to have it! We all know I support my troop :) AND the rest of them!


Please vote for me ladies!

*This is the original post! Please check it out and vote for me at Christinas blog*

Okay, so the ONLY thing I want more then a custom blog layout is a Navy Wife shirt! This contest will get me that! This is SO important to me and I know I have been asking for everyones help with the other contest but trust me when I say, your help will NOT go unnoticed! I am so inspried by this contest because it is something that VERY MUCH means something to me. Not only is music one of my vices, it is a good portion of my life and mind. Here are the top 5 songs I listen to "While You're Away":

Wait For Me- Theory of a Deadman - Why? The first time I heard this song I was directed to it by another Navy wife on facebook. It touched me in ways I never even thought about and it means a lot to me to think that Ryan just may feel this way. How he feels means more to me then how I feel when he is gone and it really made me think about that and to stop being so selfish.

Permanent Monday- Jordin Sparks- Why? There is no other song in the world that has just poured MY heart out FOR me like this one. From start to finish this song is basically EXACTLY how I feel. "Every time you go away, the sunshine starts to fade. Frozen by the hands of time into a permanent Monday. Take me back into your arms and dont ever let me go. Cuz when I see you walk through that door I'm not lost anymore, I'm home", how could any of us dealing with long underways and deployments not totally relate to this song? It's a gut wrencher though, so be careful while listening to it "While he's away".

6 Months- Hey Monday- Why? This song is mine and Ryans song. Well, one of them. It describes our relationship at home and at sea. For those of you who have never heard it the chorus goes "Everything you say, everytime we kiss I cant think straight but I'm okay. And I cant think of anybody else who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you" The. End.

Mona Lisa- The All American Rejects- Why? This song might not sound like a good song when listening to it from your point of view but it means everything to me. The night Ryan and I first finally told eachother that we love eachother Ryan was singing this song. When "And all I need is next to me" came up, he looked at me, smiling and sang it directly to me. It has always held a special place in my heart ever since then. It makes my heart smile in ways I never thought I would "While he's away".

When I'm With You- Faber Drive- Why? It's beautiful. I found the first 2 and this one while Ryan was on a 2 month long underway and this is another one that made me realize I was being selfish. That I wasnt the only one missing someone. That he missed me too. It also made me think about how much we take every day we have for granted and since Ryan has been home I have made "every second count" because I know I dont have very many more seconds before he deploys. I really dont :(

That is my top 5 though I have so many more and one that is very special to me thanks to the "While You're Away" group on facebook. It's called Ocean Size Love and you hear it every time you come to my blog.

Anyway, since you took the time to read this please also take the time to go to the lovely Christinas blog: The Journey of a Navy Wife and vote for me there! She is amazing and seriously, if you aren't already following her, do so. I promise you wont regret it!


Today... This crazy day...

All I wanted today was to have a wonderful day with the man I love. We planned to go to the beach whether anyone came with us and we did but not before I started hearing some sad news.

I have wonderful friends. Those that are actually my friends, are great friends to me. I have introduced all of my friends here to eachother in hopes that we could all be friends but it seems as though I have to keep some seperate from the others. It saddens me to hear that a friend of mine was saying things about another friend of mine. Both of these girls are good friends of mine so it just has me torn.

The worst part of all of it is that someone who actually seemed like a nice person was at the center of it all. Not by choice or fault of her own, but because she was forced there very unfairly. I chose to believe my friend over her and it turned out that I made the wrong choice. I don't question this girls loyalty to myself because she is a great friend to me but I am seeing that she is picky with who she really is friends with rather then just aquaintences.

On the bright side of things, I woke up shortly before Ryan got home with a BEAUTIFUL bouquet of pink roses (one of my faves) and we had a wonderful day at the beach and at the pool AND everything with the drama finally worked itself out, thank the good Lord.


4th of July, what does it mean to you?

How many people actually think about why we celebrate this day while we are celebrating it? Tomorrow I am going to be surrounded by the Navy. Between wives and husbands I am feeling a bit honored to be able to spend this celebration with those that actually serve and understand what we are celebrating though the future hubby has duty (bah humbug). Whether in the Silent Ranks or in the Armed Forces, we all play our part. Lets take the time to think about what we are celebrating before we do so. I know I am :)

And on that note I would like to wish all of you a very wonderful INDEPENDENCE day!


Oh hi! I'm a blog, please read me :)

Hello everyone! I am very pleased to announce that one of my great friends here has started a blogger! She is in need of some awesome followers and I know mine are ;) So PLEASE head over to Hannahs blog and show her some love!


New followers!

Hello you wonderful lovlies! Please do me a favor and post your linky link under my comments so I can have the honor of following you back!


P.s. Welcome to my life!

Hey! If you can see this post PLEASE let me know

By leaving me a comment. I have been trying to get my updates to show but it isnt working for myself. I have had one person say that they can see me now but I would like to know if that is only because she unfollowed then refollowed me.

Can you see me now?

I'm going nuts trying to get my updates to work so PLEASE comment me if you can see this!

Another giveaway from Betty!

Betty is now giving away JEWELRY! Yes you heard me correctly! Just for posting this blog I get 2 entries! So go visit her at Life as a Sailors Girl and follow her! Once you do that be sure to comment her letting her know you found her amazing blog through me! As you all know I just won her other contest and I am overjoyed! She is awesome and so is her blog! I highly recommed it!

Great News!

I won that contest! Thanks so much to everyone that voted! I love you guys! Also, the other contest I am in starts in about 4 or 5 days. Dont remember which one but please check back to see if that one has started with the voting yet :)

I cant wait to see my new custom background, banner, button and signature and I cant wait for you guys to see what you helped me win!

Thanks again guys :)