Work it gurllll

 Oy, some people's kids man. Who would seriously put that on that ceiling? DOH! 

Hubs and I got a gym membership last Friday! We are both so stoked to be healthy! I am insanely motivated. What's really awesome is that our memberships came with 3 free sessions with a trainer. We both had our first session with our trainers on Saturday and thought we were going to die by the time we were done, lol.
I did cardio for the next 2 work outs then had my second session with my trainer. It was HELL. By the end of it I literally couldn't hold my own legs up to do the last work out he was having me do so he held them for me.
Wednesday I did cardio and today I did the sets he had me do on Tuesday. I have a goal of either a loss of 10 lbs or 2 inches by my birthday (September 14th).

This dog has got it going on! You wish you were this dog!
 Hubs and I are eating a lot healthier. I literally can't bring myself to want something other than a salad, protein shake or protein bar anymore.
I WISH I could do sit ups like this. Then again, that doesn't look healthy AT. ALL.

All that is leading up to this:

This is my body BEFORE photo. Next Saturday I will be posting an update :) Wish me luck!


Some things I have learned

In my almost 3 year relationship with the Navy I have learned some things that I never would have known as a civilian (aka not being with a man in the military, not that I'm not still a civilian, lol).

1) This life is not as hard as it seems. As sad as it is to have to get used to your s/o being gone, you eventually do. I never thought I would get used to the underways/deployment/duty days but over time I did. No lie, when I was younger I ALWAYS said I could never be with a man in the military because when my ex went on a business trip I cried every night for the entire week. It was torture. I want to smack my past self in the face. We got to talk on the phone all the time. The only real issue was not having a companion there and staying at my parents house instead of his apartment. I was a dumb woman then, lol.

2) This life is HARDER than it seems. People seem to think that when the spouse isn't deployed, they are home. All of my friends were shocked when they found out Ryan worked a regular job on the ship too. Honestly, I thought the same thing until I started really talking to the ex I met Ryan through so I get it. In Indiana, all we really have is the "weekend warriors" so I just kind of figured they were all like that. Boy was I ever wrong!

3) I'm stronger than I thought I was. When Ryan deployed I sobbed myself to sleep every night. Not to mention the sporadic sobbing done throughout every day for the first month or so. You know what, though? I got over it. Yeah, there were times I just really wanted Ryan and felt so helpless because I couldn't have him, hold him, or talk to him. I needed hugs that only he could give me to make me feel better. Deployment SUCKS. HARD. But, if you love your s/o, you will be just fine. Also, fyi, it's not hard to not cheat on someone you love. Which leads me to my next learning experience...

4) People are disgusting. I have never seen so much cheating in my life. Between the spouses left behind and the men deployed, some of these people can't seem to keep their panties on. It's absolutely insane and disgusting. My friends, my husband and I were at the Virginia Beach Patriotic Festival 2 years ago and they were doing announcements and thanking the men and women of the Armed Forces and they thanked the "heroes at home" and a guy behind me literally said "Yeah, thank you, ya cheating whores". I almost lost my cool because a) It's not just women that get left behind, men are spouses too. And b) the ones deployed cheat too!!! Does it really make it ok for them to cheat on us just because they are serving their country? HELL NO. It's NEVER ok to cheat.

Well, I think that is all I am going to say for now. I'd kind of like to make this "some things I have learned" be a small part of my regular posting :) What have YOU learned since being in a military relationship?


Being thankful

I am seriously grateful for the absolutely wonderful group of military bloggers that stands behind me and sticks up for me. I've had this blog for a long time and it wasn't until recently that someone decided to troll me on militaryblogs.org. I beat myself up over the fact that this ONE person was mean to me and said so many rude things to me so I went on a group on Facebook with mil-blogging buddies and asked for their opinion about the situation. It was an eye opener...

I can't believe how many of these sweet women have had people be absolutely rude to them because they didn't like or agree with what they wrote about. I don't understand what makes people think that we are writing our blogs FOR THEM. Probably 95% of the blog world is made up of people that blog as an online journal rather than a blog with q and a's or something else of the sort.

Honestly, since I have started writing my blog, my diary has been lonely. The last time I wrote in my diary was the day before Ryan's homecoming and that diary was for him. I called it the "Deployment journal". It was where I went to tell him everything I didn't want to put on here. I was sometimes way weaker than I wrote about on my blog and I felt like he deserved to know how I really felt every day he was gone. Not to be mean, but to show him how life progressed and how hard it was at first, and to show him how much better I got over time. Basically to show him I can deal with this way of life.

I don't know how some people actually feel about me and I don't really care to know because all that matters in the end is how I feel about me. Some people call that self absorbed, some say "good for you!". I just really don't want to have my feelings so hurt when someone doesn't like something I do. I try to please people but I can't please them all, no matter what I do.

To those of you that have been around basically since day one and are still here, I can't tell you how thankful I am to have people like you in my life. You help make my world go round <3 p="p">



The saga continues. Rachel is back and I don't even know what to do with this. I find it funny that I seem self-absorbed when all I usually talk about is Ryan. Plus... I'm here to talk about MY life right? Does that REALLY make me self-absorbed?

Rachel says "I would take the time to read your blog, but your writing style is boring, and lackluster. I feel for you for the hardships you've been through. you seem very self-absorbed and a pessimist. "

Anyway, we are all settled into the house and it has been absolutely wonderful. Ryan's mom came to visit and is leaving tomorrow then we have a couple of days to ourselves before Friday night when my mom, dad and 2 nieces come to visit for a few days. I'm really excited for them to get here. I love when they come to visit because that means we don't only get to see them once a year. Being around family is always heart warming and great when you don't get to see them as often as you would like to.

Sandy and Mocha are all settled into the house as well, now. They got into the neighbors yard a couple of times but we fixed the fence so now they can't, lol. It was really upsetting when they got over there because we weren't sure they would come back. It's always scary when babies are running loose :/

Anyway, this self-absorbed pessimist is done for the night.