The beauty in deployment

Reconnecting and falling in love all over again before homecoming has even hit. Ryan just did it to me and now I miss him like crazy. I could have talked on the phone with him forever today but two 1/2 hour phone calls did wonders. Finally hearing the emotion in his voice saying, "I miss you SO much" and literally feeling as though he is standing right next to me was nothing short of incredible. This, this was the best conversation we have had all deployment. There have been times when I wondered if he even thought about me anymore. If he even cares that I'm holding it down on the homefront, crying into his pillow on nights when I feel like I can't take it anymore. I was talking to him about homecoming and he blew my mind with these lines (not exactly the same, but very close), "If you're there, that's all I need. You're my world. You're my wife and the love of my life. Nothing else matters as long as you're there". Typing it gave me goosebumps again. He brought tears to my eyes and whether he likes it or not, I'm telling you, he cried. It was overwhelming. As sick as it sounds, I needed to hear him cry. I really did because throughout this whole thing I have wondered if he really even misses me. Now I know, he does.