I am a REALLY strong woman! Being able to go through a deployment and being a part of the "Homefront Club" is a pretty tough job but someone's gotta do it right?! We as military spouses don't often give ourselves the credit we so deserve. We spend countless hours moping around, questioning why we are doing this to ourselves and (some of us) going day to day as if a black cloud is just hanging over our heads constantly. I can say that I, myself, have been through MANY ups and downs during this deployment already and he hasn't even been gone for 2 months yet. Sometimes I scold myself for being so selfish. I would think about how much I miss him and how much this hurts me far more often then I would think about what it is doing to him. I have since gotten past all that. I have come to the realization that it hurts both of us in different ways, on different days and in different hours.
Anyway, I'm not sure what inspired me to write today. It just kind of came over me like a wave and if anyone knows anything about writing, you know when that wave comes over you, you just HAVE TO write. Slowly but surely I am becoming the woman I want to be for me and for my husband. He called me yesterday and called me "his motivated baby" because I have a lot of things that I am working on doing while he's gone and started working out on a regular basis and I said "I am doing all this so you will be as proud of me as I am of you" and he said "I am already proud of you". Maybe he is, but I bet he could be MORE proud of me and I am out to prove that!