It was a cold and rainy night....not really, but it was one really rainy night in May when I fell and ended up in the hospital with a slight concusion (clumsy me). My sailor was away on duty and I was in our little apartment all alone and sick as a dog. As I was stepping out of the shower on to a bath mat that I probably imagined was there I slipped and there I went to la la land. If my sister had'nt stop by for a visit, I dont know what would have happened to me. I had been in the hospital for all of 3 hours and 20 minutes when a doctor came in and gave me his apologies. At that point, the first thing that came into my mind was " OMG, I have 7 hours to live!" Immediately I said, (without thinking) Im gonna die? He then smiled and said, No, no, no ....your baby no longer has a heartbeat. With the most confused look on my face I stared at him and uttered, what baby? He then began to explain to me that I was 12 weeks pregnant and that I had lost the baby. After he told me what might have caused the miscarriage and explained how I needed to stay in the hospital for a little due to my concusion, he left and I just sat there staring out the window of my hospital room with one thing on my mind......How did I not know I was pregnant? Two days had passed and I was finally discharged. I didnt have any migraines or broken bones but I felt horrible. How did I not know I was pregnant? That weighed heavy on my heart for a few months. I had a little bean and I didnt take care of it, how did I not know it was even there? I cried and cried, crowning myself as the worst person in the world. But little did I know, that in a month and a few days, my life would change.
My sailor had been back for a while now and before he had to leave again we decided to try a few new places in town. Our last stop for that week was a Chinese restaraunt that I thought was delicious. But on our way home, my tummy didnt feel so good, I made him pull off on the side of the road a few times so that I could puke. After I got back in the car the third time he turned the car off, took the key out and stared at me, "Is there something you need to tell me?" I quickly answered, "No, there's nothing I gotta tell you" he stared at me a little longer and then asked, "Are you pregnant?" I then said, If I was pregnant, I would know. I labled me being sick because of the Chinese food that we ate and moved the night along. A few days had passed and my sailor had already left for another mission. And as I sat in the room making plans for the next month, I realized aunt flow didnt show up that past month. I then started noticing little pregnancy symptoms I never paid attention to. That Sunday night I tossed and turned until 3am Monday morning I got dressed and drove to the nearest 24hr Walmart and bought me a pack of pregnancy tests. Three days had passed before I got the courage to take them and that Thursday afternoon I found out that I was pregnant! When I finally told my sailor, he was so happy that he almost cried. A month later I found out that it was TWINS!!! Yes, Twins!.....and then, things started to go downhill a bit. At 18 weeks we found out that one of the baby's wasnt doing so well and then a few weeks after that, she was gone. Baby A still remained but because they both shared the same sac I am still carrying both babies. You would not believe the pain and sadness that came over me. If it wasnt for my hunny bun sailor, I would have probably driven myself into a horrible depressed state. Even though we lost baby B, we are still blessed to be 26 weeks pregnant with baby A, who will be named Skylar, and we can not wait to meet her.
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Thank you again for the awesome guest post!