Yesterday I hit 35 weeks. THIRTY-FIVE WEEKS. I seriously cannot believe that it has been so long since Ryan and I were embracing, crying and laughing in the living room because I had randomly taken a test 1 day late and it was positive.
You all know my story but here's a brief catch up:
Ryan and I started TTC in June of 2010, found out I was pregnant in July and miscarried in September. I would have been 12 weeks pregnant but the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks and 1 day. We were absolutely devastated (and I know you all know that in a way, I still am) but as soon as I had my first normal period, we were allowed to start trying again and I had that period in early October so we jumped back on the wagon. Month after month after month I tested and those tests came back negative, every d*** time. I felt so alone. I felt like I would never be pregnant again. I felt like my only baby was the one in heaven. That was until September 18th. I was one day late for my period (heck I could have possibly not been late at all). I had been "one day late" so many times and tested so many times and the test came back negative SO. MANY. TIMES. I was on the phone with my mom and decided to go to Walmart to get a test. I told her I was getting one but she didn't know I was going to take it while on the phone with her still. As soon as I got home, I took that test. As soon as two lines showed up, I started shaking. My mom had no clue what was going on and I kept trying to ask her how likely it was to get a false positive but I was so shaky that she couldn't understand me. Ryan walked in the door within SECONDS of that positive test. I walked out of the bathroom looking like I had seen a ghost and I handed him the test. The smile on that mans face was just breath taking. We instantly started crying and laughing in shock, and hugging of course. I had my mom on speaker phone and she kept saying my name because I wasn't responding to her. Finally I said "I'm pregnant!!!" and we all celebrated. It was amazing. It was magical. It was beautiful. It was perfect.
Now, here we are. There are 5 weeks left and we have everything done so now we wait. My patience has grown ever so thin. I don't want to have her EARLY. I want it to be TIME to have her. She is so amazing and wonderful and she is just the biggest blessing. Sometimes I feel like we don't deserve her but then I remember everything we have gone through just to have her. We SO deserve her. And we will be everything she deserves.