In my almost 3 year relationship with the Navy I have learned some things that I never would have known as a civilian (aka not being with a man in the military, not that I'm not still a civilian, lol).
1) This life is not as hard as it seems. As sad as it is to have to get used to your s/o being gone, you eventually do. I never thought I would get used to the underways/deployment/duty days but over time I did. No lie, when I was younger I ALWAYS said I could never be with a man in the military because when my ex went on a business trip I cried every night for the entire week. It was torture. I want to smack my past self in the face. We got to talk on the phone all the time. The only real issue was not having a companion there and staying at my parents house instead of his apartment. I was a dumb woman then, lol.
2) This life is HARDER than it seems. People seem to think that when the spouse isn't deployed, they are home. All of my friends were shocked when they found out Ryan worked a regular job on the ship too. Honestly, I thought the same thing until I started really talking to the ex I met Ryan through so I get it. In Indiana, all we really have is the "weekend warriors" so I just kind of figured they were all like that. Boy was I ever wrong!
3) I'm stronger than I thought I was. When Ryan deployed I sobbed myself to sleep every night. Not to mention the sporadic sobbing done throughout every day for the first month or so. You know what, though? I got over it. Yeah, there were times I just really wanted Ryan and felt so helpless because I couldn't have him, hold him, or talk to him. I needed hugs that only he could give me to make me feel better. Deployment SUCKS. HARD. But, if you love your s/o, you will be just fine. Also, fyi, it's not hard to not cheat on someone you love. Which leads me to my next learning experience...
4) People are disgusting. I have never seen so much cheating in my life. Between the spouses left behind and the men deployed, some of these people can't seem to keep their panties on. It's absolutely insane and disgusting. My friends, my husband and I were at the Virginia Beach Patriotic Festival 2 years ago and they were doing announcements and thanking the men and women of the Armed Forces and they thanked the "heroes at home" and a guy behind me literally said "Yeah, thank you, ya cheating whores". I almost lost my cool because a) It's not just women that get left behind, men are spouses too. And b) the ones deployed cheat too!!! Does it really make it ok for them to cheat on us just because they are serving their country? HELL NO. It's NEVER ok to cheat.
Well, I think that is all I am going to say for now. I'd kind of like to make this "some things I have learned" be a small part of my regular posting :) What have YOU learned since being in a military relationship?
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About Me
- Brittany Sommer
- Navy wife. Mama to 2 crazy toddlers. Lover of life, my husband, girls, makeup and wine (also, whine). I currently am a stay at home wife and sell Scentsy. Loving this crazy life we live!
2 comments:
I completely agree with your view on cheating. My boyfriend and I talk about this all the time and he tells me some awful stories. The men (and women) who are deployed have every opportunity to cheat, just like we do when they are gone. But it comes down to character and morals...and I am so glad I am with a man who values our relationship like I do. I never ever have to worry about him and we are going on 6 months apart now...and have a little under a year left. Military life certainly isn't for everyone, but when you love someone you commit and make it work. :)
I also completely agree with you about the cheating topic. My fiance has told many stories about sailor's (both men and women) cheating on their spouses at home. So people who say that those left at home are more likely to cheat are fooling themselves! It can happen both ways! I think if both individuals are fully committed to each other, a couple of months apart will not change their feelings. You actually learn to appreciate the little moments you have with your significant other and never take things for granted. By the way i've already been to the Virginia Beach Patriotic Festival too ;) But didn't hear anything like that lol
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