L-O-V-E

First thing first. I jumped into the water and got boudior shots done by the lovely Christina Rush! I can't wait to see them all. This is the ONLY one I have so far and the ONLY one I will show:

Just from this photo, I know I will love them all! Christina is amazing :)

I heard Extreme Makeover was coming to my area so I looked into it and volunteered. I honestly didn't expect to hear back from them as somewhere around a million people live in this area. To my surprise, I DID in fact hear back from them and yesterday got this news: CONFIRMED to help on Tuesday night from 8pm-2am! I am overjoyed to be a part of something so incredible!

I got a wonderful job as an in home caregiver and have been working there since the 14th. I LOVE it!

Homecoming is LESS THEN A MONTH AWAY!!!

And now you know why my blog was titled L-O-V-E! I am SO happy with life right now :D

I think I deserve to be weak once in a while...

After all, even strong people cry right? Not saying I have any problem crying, but you have to be a strong person to make it in this lifestyle.

Strong as I may be, I reach breaking points. I will go months without crying and then BAM! Life comes at me like a wave crashing against the shore. Tonight... I feel like that girl who was a month into deployment bearly able to sleep and still having those cry-until-I-fall-asleep nights.I can probably say what triggered these emotions. I got used to his new schedule. His emails were coming between 12 and 2:30. I checked my email at 2:30 and there wasn't one yet. No big deal. I got back to work and check again at 3:00. Still nothing. 3:30, nothing. 4:00?! NOTHING. If there is anything that drives me crazier the the people on Shutter Island it's not getting an email at the time it's usually there.

Well, come 5:45 I got a text. Whew! He's alive! Hahaha. So, I got over it and went about my night textmailing with the hubby. I don't know what happened but once he said I love you goodnight, a bomb went off in my head. I started listening to the sad music that I have avoided this whole deployment and I felt my heart break all over again. Most of all, I cried. For the first time in a month. I just wanna be a baby tonight.

But really, I just want to be in his arms again. I know homecoming is just around the corner but anticipation is killing me. I have been staying as busy as possible but I had a bunch of "me" time tonight and it allowed me to think about the things I had shoved into the back of my mind.

With that, I feel as though I deserved to get it out like I did tonight. I deserved to be a baby for a minute. I'm okay now so that's all that matters.

We have a winner!

Wellllllllll, we have two winners actually! I won the contest I was in! YAY!!! Thanks to everyone that voted!

The winner of my contest is...................................................................................


Engaged To The Navy!!!

Congrats love! I will give you your stuff when you get here lol.

Today I am genuinely happy

As I ran around our bedroom like a chicken with its head cut off rearranging and cleaning, "Only Hope" by Mandy Moore came on. I thought to myself "I really need to change this song otherwise I will cry" but instead, I felt a sense of relief come over me like a wave. I stopped what I was doing and I layed on our bed for the first time in months and just listened. I stared at the ceiling and completely cleared my thoughts. After "Only Hope" finished, "In My Place" by Snow Patrol came on. I don't know what about those 2 songs playing made me feel so darn happy but it sure surprised the heck out of me.

It felt really good to just lay there and listen to soothing music. It amazes me that I still feel so good right now. You know, when you feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of your shoulders? Yeah, THAT feeling. I don't know if I have finally realized that things are going to be wonderful again next month or if it's the fact that someone who was bringing me down is no longer a part of my life. I suppose it even could have been "cleaning therapy". Either way, I feel great!

Now, I know, you may feel like I tricked you into reading this blog just to say this but I promise I didn't. I just have to add it since today is the last day for voting. Please go check out Confessions of a Sailors Wife and vote for me. You have to be a follower of hers for it to count! Thanks to everyone that has voted already!

Today has been a rough day

But you can make it all better by going and following Confessions of a Sailors Wife and voting for picture number one. I know, I am probably really irritating you guys at this point but the contest ends tomorrow so I will be back to my normal blogging then. Please and thanks in advance.

I'm surprised I haven't lost followers lol

But hey, as long as you're all still here how about going on over to Confessions of a Sailors Wife, FOLLOWING HER (because that's the only way the vote counts) and voting for picture numero uno :) Pretty please with cherries on top? Me love you long time!

Ready to be driven nuts?

That's right, I am posting about it again! Do you blame me really? It's for a free photoshoot!!! PLEASE go follow Confessions of a Sailors Wife and let her know I sent you. Dont forget to vote for #1, ME! Gracias!!!

Check it!

Please do me the giant favor of checking out my giveaway and also going to follow Confessions of a Sailors Wife and voting for picture number one! Please let her know I sent you! Thanks so much!

I'm hosting my first giveaway! Starts TODAY!

I have decided to host a giveaway!

Here is what the winner will get:

Here's the inside of the journal:

And here's the back: 

 The requirements to win are as follows:

Go to Confessions of a Sailors Wife and vote for me by leaving a comment on the blog. Obviously you will have to follow her in order to vote but I promise you won't regret it! You will see this photo:



Blog, tweet or post on facebook about my contest and leave your link here! You can blog, tweet or post on facebook once a day!

Good luck everyone! The contest will end on the 15th :)

Hey! Please read me!

Now that I have your attention, I am here to BEG you to go follow Confessions Of A Sailors Wife and vote for me! My picture is the first picture on her blog post! Comment saying I sent you and that your vote is for me. I would greatly appreciate it! You will probably see a bunch of posts like this so I apologize in advance! Anyone that knows me knows I take these contests pretty darn seriously lol. Much love!

Lima Oscar Victor Echo

The day Ryan deployed was the worst day of my life, literally. Yeah, I stayed pretty strong for him on the ship and on the pier but I was at the lowest moment in my life when I got home. Being here all alone was a constant reminder of Ryan being gone and I hated it SO MUCH. I still dislike it a whole lot but I have grown since day one. It's pretty amazing to look back at that day and see how much differently I handle my emotions today.

Back then (it feels like it was forever ago), I didn't think I could make it. I cried and cried for hours for a good week after Ryan left. It may have been longer had I not took a 3 week trip to be with my family in Indiana. Anyway, I was so weak that day I never thought I would be where I am today. I don't even really know how to explain it. Only those of us that have been there, done that have any clue what I am talking about. I'm talking about going from bawling until snot is running down your face to bearly shedding a tear the next day. How does that happen?! It's insane! Anyone who says something can't just happen overnight is WAY wrong. I am living proof. I got my emotions in check overnight. It happens.

It's not like Ryan comes home tomorrow or anything but deployment is coming to a close. Along with insane amounts of excitement and anticipation, I am beaming with pride at his accomplishments and at mine. My only real accomplishment is making it faithfully through this deployment BUT anyone that has been through it, especially their first one, knows how I feel. Ryan accomplished a lot during this deployment. He accomplished things he had been trying to accomplish before and I know for a fact that he feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders. During this deployment Ryan made 2nd class, he got his ESWS and he reenlisted for 4 more years. 3 MAJOR accomplishments. He's amazing, I swear it.

So, in the next few weeks I plan to do everything I can to make this house look like a home. I vow for everything to be more perfect then it was before he left. I vow to be the woman he left, if not a better version of me. I vow to be the most clingy woman alive for a while (lol). I vow to kiss him, hug him and squeeze him tightly every night as if he were deploying again the next day. Most of all, I vow to always be the woman he married. He married me for a reason didn't he? ;)