Is that how it's gonna be?

I announce that I'm pregnant and lose a follower? Ouch, lol.

Anyway, I'm sure some of you are dying to hear the story so here it goes:

I was on the phone with my mom, Ryan wasn't home and I didn't expect him to get home. I secretly took that test just to ease my mind and for it to possibly make me start my period because while TTC I got phantom pregnancy symptoms and they would cause my period to be late. So, I put my mom on speaker, pee'd on the stick and as it started to turn, Ryan came home. My mom couldn't understand me but I asked her 2 times how likely it was to get a false positive pregnancy test. I walked out of the bathroom and handed the test to Ryan. The smile on his face was absolutely PRICELESS. I wish I could have taken a picture of that moment. It is forever embedded in my mind. We embraced, cried, laughed and I shook for a while. I seriously am in shock. I cannot believe this is real. It doesn't feel real. But I am SO happy that it IS real.

What's the craziest part? It's not that I started using a less harsh top coat on Monday. No, it wasn't that I quit smoking Monday night. It's the fact that I got pregnant with this baby around the same time that I lost our first baby last year. I feel like fate is working here. This all makes sense. We are supposed to have this baby.

This time, I will not go to the ER and lie and say that I am cramping and lightly bleeding. This time I will do it right and wait. The group session is October 3rd and after that I will have my blood work done. I will also find out when my first appointment is at the group session. I want it as soon as I can get it.

For now, I am just going to chill out. I have been so laid back about this pregnancy so far. I don't want anything to happen to my baby and I feel very confident that this is it. I thought for sure I would be so scared, but I feel a sense of peace. Overwhelming happiness and peace.

You want to read this, trust me!

On Monday afternoon I bought a 3 free topcoat and on Monday night I quit smoking. On Tuesday I took a pregnancy test because I was a day late for my period and I figured another negative test would ease my mind and I would start...

I don't even have words. It's beyond words. I am in shock, still. It doesn't feel real. I never thought this day would come. A miscarriage then a year of trying and it ended here. I canNOT believe it!!!

Wow!

I'm pretty excited to see my number of followers going up lately! I wonder what I'm doing right? Haha.

Well, this is week 4 of the "get fit" journey and I am happy so say that I am no longer in the 180's. Though I still weigh right at 180 (179.6) it still feels so amazing to not see an 8 after that 1. Ryan has lost around 6 lbs or so as well.

Life is going pretty darn good. My birthday is Friday so we are going to North Carolina for a few days. I'm really excited about that. I love it when we go there. It's like a mini vacation where we get to be with people we love. On top of that, we are going to have a little birthday party for Mocha with Sandy (our other furbaby) and our friends dogs while we are there! We got her a little doggy cake called a "pup-pie" and it has 8 little slices of doggy friendly cake. It's adorable. I can't believe our little girl is so grown up now. 1 whole year of life. Her and Sandy are a strong driving force of happiness and annoyance in our lives, lol.

Lastly,



NEVER FORGET 9.11

I know I just posted a weight loss pic but...

I am so insanely excited! I lost another half an inch since I last posted and my "lose weight to fit these" pants FIT!

I know it sounds so stupid but I bought these yoga pants around a year ago and they have always been way too tight. Now I can wear them on my hips where they belong and not feel insanely fat and uncomfortable!

Weight loss update!

I'm just going to leave this photo here:

Not only have I lost a good inch or 2, but my posture is WAY better! This was taken Saturday, which was the 2 weeks of working out 6 days a week mark :)

Fighting Tears (and losing)

Do you guys remember last year on this date? I know you may not remember what the date was, but I posted a blog that actually brought some of you to tears. I was absolutely at my worst when I wrote it and could bearly see through the tears to even write. On this date last year, I found out I was miscarrying.

This time last year I was a shell of a woman. I was high on percocet and bearly breathing because I literally couldn't stop crying. Every time I stopped, I started again. And again, and again, and again. My husband must have been dying inside from not knowing what to do. Nothing would have helped anyway.

It hit like a knife to my heart yesterday when I realized what today was.

I can say that I am way better now than I ever thought I would be but it still kills me every day.

I have to remind myself that it was real.

Even though you never made it into my arms, you are always in my heart <3 nbsp="nbsp">