Blessed

The clouds are beginning to seperate and I am feeling really blessed right now.

God is working his miracles as we speak.

Yesterday I went in for my follow up appointment from the d and c. Everything is fine and the dr told me we can start trying again after I have ONE normal period. That made my day. She said you could put 100 doctors in one room and they would all have a different answer to when you can start trying again but what they really want is to know when your last period was when you get pregnant again to measure about how far along you are. Would you believe that I started my period today?! I have been a mix of emotions ever since. I am SO. HAPPY because that means (as long as this period is "normal") we get to start trying again in a couple weeks! Of course it also reminded me of what no longer is and lately I haven't been thinking about it. I went from crying tears of joy to mourning the loss of our first baby which is still so fresh.

I have been doing a lot better. I really have. Today was really kind of a fluke for me to cry over that. I hadn't cried in a good solid 2 weeks or so over our angel baby. I just kind of started taking it one step at a time and slowly dealt (dealing) with it.

Now, we both just can't wait to start trying again. Yesterday when I told Ryan what the dr said he said "Well hurry up with that! :)". So yeah, I think it's safe to say we both can't wait to be able to try again.

As the thunder rolls I bearly hear you whisper through the rain, "I'm with you". And as your mercy falls I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and take away... 

I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands. For you are who you are no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried, you hold in your hand. You never left my side. Though my heart is torn I will praise you in this storm