Where are my ruby red slippers?

Home is in your arms. "There's no place like home. there's no place like home, there's no place like home"... DANG! It failed to work. Lucky Dorothy... Anyway, I suppose I am doing a bit better. Still been quite the Scrooge sayin bah humbug all through the holiday season. It has yet to stop me from shopping til I drop for presents and getting excited that Christmas is right around the corner. Yet, I feel this emptiness that I just can't shake.

My friends have been having homecomings a lot lately. As I look at their statuses, I feel a sense of loss. We used to be in the same boat and now they all have their men back. It makes me feel a little less connected to them though our friendship hasn't changed one bit, just a new person has been added into the equation. Have any of you had this happen? Do you know what I mean? I just want to know if I am an oddball or if others have felt this way. On top of that, I am experiencing a very unchristian like feeling: JEALOUSY. A sin I can't seem to shake either.

I keep thinking about how many of my close friends are going to say "see you later" to their Sailors before Ryan comes home and I almost feel bad for the fact that I will have Ryans homecoming the very next month. Does it make ANY sense that I feel BAD that I am going to be SO happy when most of my close friends are missing their men? I don't know. I guess it's just the fact that I know how it feels to be missing my husband terribly while watching others welcome theirs home.

I feel like a jerk for being sad when my friends are rejoicing after suffering through a deployment but I just can't help but feel this way. On the plus side, December is coming to an end. Though I won't be able to celebrate the new year with Ryan, it'll be such a short time until he returns and I will begin to totally count the days down. I can't wait. I have never wanted something so badly in my whole life.