Home is in your arms. "There's no place like home. there's no place like home, there's no place like home"... DANG! It failed to work. Lucky Dorothy... Anyway, I suppose I am doing a bit better. Still been quite the Scrooge sayin bah humbug all through the holiday season. It has yet to stop me from shopping til I drop for presents and getting excited that Christmas is right around the corner. Yet, I feel this emptiness that I just can't shake.
My friends have been having homecomings a lot lately. As I look at their statuses, I feel a sense of loss. We used to be in the same boat and now they all have their men back. It makes me feel a little less connected to them though our friendship hasn't changed one bit, just a new person has been added into the equation. Have any of you had this happen? Do you know what I mean? I just want to know if I am an oddball or if others have felt this way. On top of that, I am experiencing a very unchristian like feeling: JEALOUSY. A sin I can't seem to shake either.
I keep thinking about how many of my close friends are going to say "see you later" to their Sailors before Ryan comes home and I almost feel bad for the fact that I will have Ryans homecoming the very next month. Does it make ANY sense that I feel BAD that I am going to be SO happy when most of my close friends are missing their men? I don't know. I guess it's just the fact that I know how it feels to be missing my husband terribly while watching others welcome theirs home.
I feel like a jerk for being sad when my friends are rejoicing after suffering through a deployment but I just can't help but feel this way. On the plus side, December is coming to an end. Though I won't be able to celebrate the new year with Ryan, it'll be such a short time until he returns and I will begin to totally count the days down. I can't wait. I have never wanted something so badly in my whole life.