A new do and a trip

Coming to you live from Hubert, North Carolina. I am here enjoying spending time with some friends and awesome people. The husband is underway for the gazillionth time and wont be home for close to a week, bah humbug. I swear they are going underway every other week. It's really working my nerves.

We are trying for a baby and it seems like they are picking the worst times for him to be gone. I mean, tmi alert, he was on duty when I was ovulating. Here's hoping that egg held up for the next day or so. Hopefully (if I'm not already pregnant *crosses fingers*) he wont be gone next month around that same time. If he is, this could become a really depressing experience month after month.

On a brighter note, our Halloween party was a blast! Here we are as a hustler and a flapper =)

I got a call from my sister a couple days ago telling me that my mom was in the emergency room. Apparently her allergies caused her to cough so hard she puked and she puked so hard she ruptured a disk in her neck. At first the pain was so horrible that she couldn't even move. When she first went to the er they thought she may have had a thunder clap, or in lame mans terminology, a brain bleed aka a stroke. How scary would it be to be thinking that for a while and then find out it was just a disk (and I know 'just a disk' sounds stupid, but that is nothing compared to a stroke). It scared me to death to know my mom was in the er. I always feel so helpless when something happens to one of my parents. I could never prepare myself for the worst. In the time I have lived here my dad has had quadruple open heart bypass surgery, had hernia surgery AND had a cancer scare. This was a first for my mom but still, I wouldn,t know what to do if something happened to one of them and I didn't get to see them. Being so far away kills me sometimes.

In a couple of weeks my parents are coming to visit for the first time. I hope my mom heals well so it's a good visit for her. I so cant wait!

Last but not least, I got a hair cut! It's shorter then it's been in at least 5 years or more and I just love it! What do you guys think?

My hair went from that^

to this:

I personally think that the shorter cut is more flattering and better then how my hair looked long but that's just me!

Busy, gotta stay busy

And that is exactly what I am going to do. Really though, I am pretty sick of the constant underways already. For the past 2 or 3 months my husband has been going underway like twice a month. I really miss having him around so much.

I don't think I shared what happened with us all in like one week. Let me just say, it was the most stressful week of my life. It all started when someone in my husbands work center was moved to shore duty for medical reasons. Then, to add insult to injury on an already severly undermanned work center, they moved another guy to do something else. So, my husband was told one day that there was talk of them extending him on the ship for their next deployment. I just let it go at the time because I didn't want to worry myself and then them not extend him. A couple days later he was underway (big shocker) and his chief told him they were extending him for deploment. He told me and I cried for a good hour straight. This meant that ship had taken away something I had been looking forward to for a long time, shore duty. That also meant my husband would have to go through the process of picking orders for shore duty all over again and that was so super stressful.

Well, come a couple more days and hubby finds out they are only extending him for a big inspection which means he gets off the ship a couple weeks later rather then like 12 months later and would be able to keep his shore duty orders. WHEW. Then, the next day he calls me and tells me that they asked him if he wanted to stay on the ship a couple weeks later then that to get an eval and of course he said yes. If he has to be on the ship for that long he might as well get that eval. So, as of right now he will go on shore duty in March rather then January. And I will just be glad when it's just all over with. I am so bitter now. Bah humbug.

Blessed

The clouds are beginning to seperate and I am feeling really blessed right now.

God is working his miracles as we speak.

Yesterday I went in for my follow up appointment from the d and c. Everything is fine and the dr told me we can start trying again after I have ONE normal period. That made my day. She said you could put 100 doctors in one room and they would all have a different answer to when you can start trying again but what they really want is to know when your last period was when you get pregnant again to measure about how far along you are. Would you believe that I started my period today?! I have been a mix of emotions ever since. I am SO. HAPPY because that means (as long as this period is "normal") we get to start trying again in a couple weeks! Of course it also reminded me of what no longer is and lately I haven't been thinking about it. I went from crying tears of joy to mourning the loss of our first baby which is still so fresh.

I have been doing a lot better. I really have. Today was really kind of a fluke for me to cry over that. I hadn't cried in a good solid 2 weeks or so over our angel baby. I just kind of started taking it one step at a time and slowly dealt (dealing) with it.

Now, we both just can't wait to start trying again. Yesterday when I told Ryan what the dr said he said "Well hurry up with that! :)". So yeah, I think it's safe to say we both can't wait to be able to try again.

As the thunder rolls I bearly hear you whisper through the rain, "I'm with you". And as your mercy falls I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and take away... 

I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands. For you are who you are no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried, you hold in your hand. You never left my side. Though my heart is torn I will praise you in this storm