There comes a certain point in ones life when you sit back a think, "What do I really have going for myself here?".
That's basically where I am in my life.
Going back to Virginia could be either the best thing I have ever done or the biggest mistake I have ever made.
I'm hoping for a happy medium or the best.
I'm tired of being jobless, single, carless and having to rely on my parents to get me by.
I want to feel independent again.
I want to explore my possibilities of finding REAL love.
I want to be somewhere that the sun shines more then it doesnt.
I want to stand on the beach and feel the wind blowing through my hair again.
I want to tan while everyone else goes in the water because I am scared to death of sharks, not to mention I dont want to have to get peed on by anyone and jellyfish are all over the place in that water.
I want to be able to see my best friend whenever she and I have time again and not whenever she or I gets the chance to go 14 hours away.
I want to feel alive again.

Now, a lot of people already know, but none of them have acted as selfish and uncaring as a certain supposed female "friend" of mine.
Here's what she has to say about me moving:
"I dont care. Go. I'm so over it. I'm over trying to make time for you. You always have something better to do. Dont worry about the concerts. See you when I see you."
My reply:
"Ah, ok. This your way of making me feel like shit for wanting to be happy and making it easier on youself in the process? I told you to call me this week so we could hang and you never did"
"Why do I have to call? I always call. It'd be nice to know I'm wanted for once. But, I'm not fighting with you. It's stupid. Later."

******Let me take a time out to remind everyone that I dont have a job and she does so that is*******
********why I asked her to call. Not because I dont care about her or because I'm too busy*********

My reply:
"I think I have you figured out. As long as you are happy it's perfectly ok for me to be miserable"
"If that's what you want to believe Miss Martyr. I'm happy with my life regardless of you being in it or not. As I said, I'm not fighting so your victim role isnt working on me. Take it elsewhere."
*I had to practice for a play so I was busy for a couple hours after her last text so it took a while for me to reply*
That's so very typical of you. Whatever."
"Like I said, I'm not fighting. Silly of you to bring it up so much later than the argument. Besides, you seem hostile. I'm not mad at you, just over you."
*HOSTILE? Really? At this point my heart has basically broken and I am nowhere near hostile. Sad? Dissappointed? Sick to my stomache? Definately. But, hostile? No way.*
"You are mad at me. Over something really silly. It took me that long to reply because I was busy."
"No. I'm really not mad at you. I could truly care less."
****Oh really? And is THAT why you brought it up and said all of those mean, hurtful things to me? Because you dont give two craps? I effing BET.****

I didn't respond to that one and I have only said a few words to her on facebook chat since then.
I just dont quite understand what is so wrong with me being happy...

1 comment:

Tia said...

so now i know what happened. very silly. know i'll be pretty psyched to see you