Super cute giveaway!

Go check it out! I SO want to win!

My song

And the winner is... Hope! Because I love her so much and this song means a lot to me lately.

Shame on me

I have been so wrapped up in my own little world that I didn't realize I had been breaking a golden rule for following blogs: Actually reading the blogs I follow ALONG WITH commenting on them. I have so many people that comment on my posts and some of the blogs I follow don't even get one comment on them. I remember being there and thinking, am I writing to the air? I have a diary so I didn't start writing a blog to get my thoughts out. I started my blog so people could read certain thoughts. Humph!

Then I joined in on some blog link ups and blog contests and before I knew it, had close to 100 followers.

I wish the same for all my blog friends! It's never fun to write a blog and no one post their thoughts on it so from now on I am going to comment no matter what the blog was about. I am sorry for being such a bad follower!

Inspiration through music

This has been one of my inspirational lines lately: Whether you fall means nothing at all. It's whether you get up <3

I have been trying to find sources of inspiration through the miscarriage. Talking to people hasn't seemed to be helping so I have come to realize I have to fight this myself because I am the reason. I am why people aren't getting through to me. However, music is my outlet. I need it to get me through the rainy days. I can't imagine life without music. I love everyone who has been trying to help me, trust me when I say that. All of your kind words and prayers have not been ignored. I appreciate all of them. Even if the words didn't help, knowing so many people care, did. Please don't take offense when I say people aren't helping. I just have a serious defense mechanism because of my past and I have had to get through some really hard times all. by. myself. Me and music, that's all I had at one point. That, I believe, is the only reason I turn to music instead of people. I don't even know if I am making sense right now because I am sick and I am tired but I hope I am and I hope I didn't offend anyone. I love you guys.

On another note, a possum has been hanging out on our back porch lately and I so don't like it. Those things are stinking ugly and I'm scared if I go back there he's going to attack me. AND I am scared to open the sliding door. If that thing came in our house I would just die!

I get a little bit stronger

"Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of pain but I brushed my teeth anyway. I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face. I got a little bit stronger."

"Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt so I turned on the radio. Stupid song made me think of you. I listened to it for a minute, but then I changed it. I'm getting a little bit stronger. Just a little bit stronger"

"I know my heart will never be the same but I'm telling myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest days I get a little bit stronger"

This song describes a bit of how I have been feeling lately. Not about Ryan, about the miscarriage. It still hurts, A LOT, but, every day, I get a little bit stronger.

Our Story in Pictures

 In the beginning was one boy and one girl:

New years 2009

New years day *2010*

St. Patricks day 2010

My sleepy head <3 March 2010

Our first extended period of time apart as a couple. Joint Warrior March-May 2010.

And the end of that 2 month underway!!! May 2010.

Photo op! May 2010.

Taken shortly before my Sailor changed my life May 31, 2010 <3

Taken the day after I said yes! June 1st, 2010

A few of my favorites from our engagement photoshoot <3

Loveeeeeee

Our photographer did such an awesome job!

Kissesssssss

You can't catch me! June 7, 2010

Our engagement announcement. June 2010.

Random photo op! July 2010.

Husband and wife! July 31, 2010 <3

7.31.2010

Wedding night! No we aren't naked, unless you remove the towels lol <3

Busch Gardens August 2010.

Kiss sammich! Lol. Ryans birthday party/housewarming party August 2010.

The day before deployment. August 16, 2010.

D Day. Look how good we faked being happy! Haha. August 17, 2010.

Pardon me while I fast forward 6 freaking months.................................

HOMECOMING!!!!! 2.16.2011 <3

Patiently waiting for the ship to pull in!

This is my "Uhmmmm... Everyone and their mother is off the ship, WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?!" face lol.

Our first hug in 6 months!

Our first kiss in 6 months!

This is what TRUE HAPPINESS looks like =D

<3 So happy!

So happy to be together again <3

We went to DC for a short getaway when he got back. This is the Iwo Jima memorial <3

Feb. 2011 photo op!

A few of my favorite from a photoshoot we did in March 2011

Feeling like kids again <3

Hahaha I'm happy he's sad, just like the masks :p

<3

L-O-V-E

My fave <3

St. Patricks day 2011

At our friends hockey game in May of 2011

At Patriotic Fest Va. Beach ocean front seeing Darius Rucker in June 2011.

The BIG wedding 5.31.2011 (1 year after we got engaged)

My daddy walking me down to my Sailor <3

Lighting the unity candle

We're married... AGAIN! Lol.

<3

July 18th, our lives were changed by this test <3

At 5 weeks and 5 days we got to see our baby for the first and last time :'( RIP Angel Baby

North Carolina September 17th. 

Well, that's our story in a nutshell right now. We are trying our best to move forward with our lives and we can't wait until we can start trying to get pregnant again. We mostly can't wait until God blesses us with a healthy baby *hopefully* next year <3