Hello, it's me...

Hey everyone. It's been quite a long time since the last post. How has everyone been?

Life as we know it here is about to explode. In 2 days, Ryan goes to Japan for two years, unaccompanied. I don't know how I am handling it. I'm emotional but unable to show it. It's all in my head and my heart. I'm dying on the inside but I can't seem to get it out. Monday morning is going to make me sick. I am probably going to scream. How can my kids go so long without daddy? Why do I have to miss my husband so much that my heart cries instead of my eyes? This does not feel real at all. Not one bit.

Of course, I came back and immediately I am posting a negative blog... However, I need to get my feelings out. This is my "diary" basically.

We are packing our house.

We sold our bedroom set, dining table and chairs, couch and chair, spare bedroom mattress... We decided we would just start fresh when he gets back.

I am having a really hard time finding the strength and motivation to finish packing. It's tough knowing we will no longer have a house here. Leaving so so many memories. We have owned this house for 6 years. We made our children here. They said their first words, crawled, walked, grew up... So many memories being left here. I cannot believe it's all going to be gone. Oh, my heart.

Lord, please give me peace.

What you may find here...

As I carry on life as a mommy and Navy wife with a deployed spouse, I'm also working on being healthy and fit. So, one of the things I intend to write about here will be that journey! I'll be posting pictures, checking in weekly to hold myself accountable, while also writing about life as a Navy family and the craziness that comes with it. That being said, I'll be posting my "before" photos soon!

Surprise!

Well, I recently decided to not give up on this blog and I notice I still have plenty of people following me (probably mostly due to them not noticing my absence, lol). So, here I am! Updates on my life include: Abriella turned 3 in May, Evelyn turned 1 in December which means she's closer to 2 than she is 1 now :( Ryan deployed a short while ago. Were somewhere around 2 months in. I had totally forgotten how nice it felt to write a blog whether I have people reading or not. I miss him. Our girls miss him. He misses us and life out there has been harder on him this time around. He has only been on one port visit so far and he didn't even get to really get off the ship. They were only there for one day. On the bright side, he is able to call me more often this time and that has made things much better on us.

This post isn't a long one, just enough to give a little update until tomorrow, maybe! I hope everyone is doing well and maybe some of you still write! Please comment to let me know if you do!

The end

i have decided to start blogging anonymously and this blog will probably not be active anymore. Thanks for so many wonderful years!!!!!

I've lost myself

Where do I even start? Well, I guess we could start with me not blogging anymore. I had Abby and didn't blog much. Then, I had another baby and just stopped! Well, I kind of stopped before having her but still stopped non the less. 

I have also let myself get wrapped up in wondering why the couple of people I'm "friends" with here not ever inviting me to do anything and not doing anything even when I ask them. I've started to really ask myself why I really care? I can make new friends and they will be people that want to be around me and will make time for me even if they are busy. 

Have I mentioned that I have been failing at being a wife because I'm so wrapped up in being a mama? I mean, seriously! I love being a mama so so much that I forgot how much I love being a wife. I'm definitely working on that one too. 

It's truly been a long long time since the last time I blogged. I'm now a mama of 2 beautiful little girls. I promise I will be telling my birth story and playing a lot of catch up in the next couple of weeks. Talk to whoever is still following then!!

Long time no see!

Been a while, yeah?

Well, I'm hugely pregnant now. I'm pretty sure the last time I blogged I had just found out I was pregnant and expressed how shocking it was that it was so easy to conceive this time. It's been a long time since then and I am now 19 weeks and 2 days along.

We know what we are having and we know HER name! Say hello to Evelyn Elise!

I secretly and selfishly longed for a second girl even though this is our last baby and Ryan wanted a boy. She's truly a little miracle though. We love her so much.

Abby is so so big now. She is walking all over like a champ for the most part! She jabbers all day long and she is so smart. Here she is announcing what we are having! She's so stinking cute! (I know, I'm tooting my own horn.)

Here's a belly shot comparison for the fun of it ;)

We are getting pretty serious about the cloth diaper stash, as well. We have ordered 10 NB diapers and 12 OS pockets. We got a Bumgenius elemental the other day and plan to get 3 BG pockets as soon as I make the money from the diapers I sold tomorrow! I'm pretty excited in case you can't tell.

More news, Ryan made 1st class! Come December our money cares will be a distant memory and it couldn't have come at a better time! On a sad note, because we bought this house, Ryan is going to have to re enlist in October. On the plus side, the bonus is pretty hefty right now so it will help us get out of debt. I would still rather be poor than to watch my husband leave a million times for underways and a couple deployments. I can't stand the thought of our girls having to witness that and grow up missing daddy, either.

Well, that's life in a nutshell right now. I hope everyone is doing well! Thanks for continuing to read even though I've been a slacker :)